WW - It's ok to say no.

October 17, 2015

It's ok to say no
How to learn to say no to better manage the unmanageable

We often hear about conciliation, that is, "making things compatible". Studies, work, boyfriend / blonde, roommate, family, friends ... So many spheres of our lives that must be coordinated, arranged, calculated and harmonized; a planning gymnastics worthy of the Olympics (but without the coaching team to help us).

Can not say yes to ci without saying no to that, and vice versa. A real puzzle with more pieces to assemble than free boxes in our agenda. Always the same dilemma, the same question. Among all our school, professional and social occupations, what to prioritize? one wonders. The answer: oneself.

It's ok to refuse an invitation. It's okay not to be able to and it's just as okay not to want. When you think about it, in life, very few things are really obligatory. "Yes, but we have to ..." He ... not must not. Can we eliminate this verb from our vocabulary? In any case, "must have", it does not even conjugate in the "I". So let's use verbs that let us think of the first person!

There will always be conflicts of schedules and interests. There will always be offers and requests to resume "next time perhaps! * insert here an emoji to fill the discomfort * ". The truth is that people will recover. (Sorry to those who thought they were indispensable - you will be able to recover too.) A true friend / common sense will not hold you back for a cancellation, a choke as the saying goes. In one, two, three, six months, nobody will remember. Let it go. Free, deliver yourself. Let go.

Why this tendency to systematically say yes, exactly? Are we afraid of disappointing, of not being part of the gang, of creating tensions? It's nice to please everyone, but we must recognize our limits. Even if it means to miss another party. Even if it means not to go to the family cottage. Even if it means that your boyfriend will sulk a little (he will say that it is not true anyway). Even if. Even if. Even if.

Generosity is a quality that can quickly become a default when we give more importance to the needs of others than ours. No need to force ourselves to act against our will to satisfy the demands of those around us. Let's take our courage with both hands, accept / reject sincerely and authentically, and all will be well. Because rendering service at our expense, it does not serve anyone.

Julie




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