Thanks for saving me ... but no thanks!
I have a wonderful entourage who loves me as I am and who cares about me. An environment that is so important to me that he wants to protect me, sometimes even overprotect me. The intention is good, very good. But, there is a but.
Here is the famous but I do not want to be spared. I do not want to decide in my place what is good or bad for me. When I was little, my mother bought me a fish. Hercules, what was his name. And I loved him with all my strength, really. Contrary to what his name may suggest, my Hercules was not strong, so he died - that his soul of Beta rests in peace.
To prevent my eyes from turning into Niagara Falls, my mother bought a new identical fish and slipped it into the aquarium without my knowledge. As a result, I only saw fire, I never knew that Hercules was actually an impostor swimming peacefully in the tranquil waters of TRUE Hercules, and my mother continued to see a beautiful big smile on my face. cute little girl naive. This is an example that may look completely foolish, but that illustrates it well.
When you care about someone, it's normal to want the best for you. If we could wrap it in bubble wrap, we would probably do it. Because seeing her hurt is sometimes worse than hurting oneself. And to see coming in advance that it will crash, apprehend his bawling mouth, it looks like it's even worse.
So we do everything to avoid the worst, we do everything to save it. Sometimes, we do not make her aware of a situation: "I did not tell you because I did not want you to feel pain ..." Otherwise, she is always pointed at the road that seems the safest, and it is cheated if it derogates from the path: "It'll be easier like that, less dangerous for you. One can even terminate a relationship in a hasty way: "I would not hurt you, I'm sure I'll hurt you one day or another. And if I liked better that they let me decide for myself?
In the end, the words will always come to my ears. And a silence that persists often hurts more than well-chosen words.
In the end, all the roads will be full of pitfalls, because the danger can hide behind anything and anyone.
In the end, we will never know if the harm will be less great because the brake was activated earlier in the relationship.
It's not that opinions are not welcome; on the contrary, I need it. But I also need the final decision to be mine. The little control I could have, I'd like him to come back to me at least. The case is that I can say that I am able to take, that I can cash in, my physical contradicts me. "Me, well, I do not trust appearances, let's see! We all say. Hmmmm, sorry, but yes, we trust it!
Few believe me when I say that I am strong. The portrait is as follows: I am small, I have chicken arms and I could still get dressed in children's stores. Usually, I'm entitled to a skeptical look accompanied by a little laugh like "well yes, it's girl: go back play with your dolls. It would be easier for me to believe that I won the jackpot and go to the moon at worst.
But physical strength does not inspire the mental strength or resilience of an individual. You can measure 6 feet and be as muscular as Hugo Girard, nothing prevents you from collapsing at the slightest breeze. You can measure 5 feet and have chicken arms, but be able to withstand the worst storms.
The strength of character has no precise face or minimal size.
I like to throw myself into the void without having the certainty that I will land safely. I'm not afraid of planting myself: I know I'll be able to get up. It may be long and difficult, but the bruises always fade and the deeper wounds always heal. To see me, one has the impression that I will break at any moment. Watching me go, we say that it does not make sense to let me continue.
But me, I tell myself that by opting for the free fall, there is certainly a time when the parachute will open.
PS: In all, the original Hercules, true truth, will have had about six successors before my mother decides to let my eyes become torrents. I screamed, but in the end, well I survived. And I realized that a Beta is one of the worst pets you can buy from a child. Thanks mom, I love you.
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