WW - Hell has a color: white

November 29, 2015

Hell has a color: the white

Write a sentence. You let her live for three seconds before pressing the "erase" key on your keyboard. You look at your screen a little stupidly then you start to waltz your fingers. You go for a new approach, another wording, new words and a different conclusion. You give him a better chance than the other by leaving him 10 seconds of life, but your finger addicted to backspace confirms that it is not worth it. Welcome to the fabulous world of the blank page!

I said fabulous world? I change my mind right away: the INFERNAL world of the blank page. But, I have nothing against white. My future home, I want it white as immaculate as that of Marilou and I love white clothes even if after five minutes I stain them. But the whiteness of a Word page, it does not come back to me, but not pantout! In addition it seems that the little blue sky pale in the background just make it worse.

I hate that white because it comes to confirm one thing: that my brain is down. There is mist to the square millimeter, which makes any flash of genius invisible. The longer the page remains inert, the more panic goes up. It's not that you have a deadline to respect but ... it's not bad. And it's not that putting a page naked is not done but ... it's not bad that too.

When we read a text, no matter which one, we have the impression that bing bang, the author wrote it both fingers in the nose at the same time as eating Skittles and playing Mario Kart. But to write a text, whatever its subject or its length, it is always more demanding than one thinks it. I lost the illusion in high school and the CEGEP only gave the fatal blow.

To choose the subject on which one writes, it can help the creation. We'll say it, write a test imposed on antibiotics in secondary 3, it limits creativity on a medium time. But it's a double-edged knife that picks his subject. If you really care about it, you want to give it back, you want to find the best words to express your thought. You want so much that sometimes it blocks you. You end up asking yourself a billion questions about everything and nothing, which makes you lose your naturalness.

As you do not really know what to do with your skin, you will have a look on the Internet. You scroll your Facebook, you click on an article, and another, and another. The more you read, the more you wonder how they do to write so well, them. The further it goes, the more you wonder why they had this or that reflection: it's so good that you fall down your chair. You wonder how you could make them fall down their chairs in your turn. "When we compare ourselves, we console ourselves" ... Nenon. At that moment, you say a lot more than forcing yourself to compare yourself, you're bawling.

By dint of writing, if there is one thing that I am beginning to understand, it is that it is absolutely useless to bother: on oneself as much as on words. It is by taking off the nose of the screen that you will gradually remove the mist that blocks your view. It is by taking a step back that the sentences will come to survive complete minutes, hours, days and years. You may even come to hoist the white flag in your war with the blank page.

Maude




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